It's been a few days since Miss Heinz's last email so I thought I should explain my delay. I also appear to have changed her name. I wonder if she'll notice?
Good morning to you Miss Heinz-Beans
Many thanks for your latest communication. I trust this message finds you well and happy. I think it will because he who seeds love, collects happiness and you Miss Heinz have planted the seed of love within my heart with your honesty and truth.
I too apologise for my lateness of reply. This was down to an unforeseen circumstance that befell me. There is a member of my congregation who has been troubled with disturbing behaviours of late. His family approached me and confessed they were convinced he was possessed by evil spirits and begged for me to perform an exorcism to rid him of said demons. We arranged to meet after the regular Sunday service and myself and a trusted colleague would perform the necessary ritual to free his soul. My friend is not deaf but has recently been learning sign language so I thought that would be helpful. We began the exorcism and all was going well until my colleague miss-signed Santa instead of Satan and all hell broke loose. The man we were exorcising suddenly stared rolling around the floor shouting "Jingle Bells, Jesus smells" over and over again in a most demonic voice I have ever heard. This was especially disturbing as he has been deaf from birth and has never learned to vocalise and words. Thankfully, I managed to get a grip of the situation and banish the evil spirits for good with the aid of some Holy Water, some incense and a bong. The outcome was a good one and he's now doing well and his behaviour has returned to normal.
So Miss Heinz, what do I need to do now and how do I authorise you as my social advisor and Mr Cooper as my legal representative? Please advise me forthwith so we can move things along. Like you said, I will not use this money for wrong doings or personal gain. In love, the heavens themselves do guide the state; Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. I shall use it to the good of my community.
Wishing you a pleasant and bountiful day.
Regards
Reverend Juliet MacBeth.
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